LaMills' earliest memories of the Bishop are a mix of home, community, and school with all having lasting impact, impression, and perspective. Home was a tough love environment that first provided Young Alex with the resilience, ingenuity, and guard to endure the community. Home also provided a sense of belonging, a safety net of trusted people, and a mild blend of accountability and fun. The Bishop was about a dozen acres of land squeezed between a junkyard backed by railroad tracks to the southeast, Interstate 277 bordered to the northwest, undeveloped forest area to the northeast, and another apartment complex targeting low-income renters was to the southwest. In all there were about thirty five two-story buildings with nearly 200 apartment homes and minimal planned spaces or areas for children to play or interact. But people make a place far more than physical descriptions and there were lots of people in the Bishop. LaMills remembers most of the people as a hardworking bunch who wanted to have a safe environment for themselves and their children as they sought avenues to improve their own life or situation. Single mothers were the rule and there were a few (less than 10) exceptions where men were in the home as fathers or father figures. In some cases, multiple generations of families had settled in the Bishop and there were a few elderly (over 50) women as quiet and stable residents. Regardless of the age, gender, financial standing, family history, or other characteristics that could be used, they all shared one thing- being African American.
Inside the home, Tisha, Nik, and Alex carried on with the regular bickering of children amongst each other that eventually escalated to the point of uncomfortable resolution or to the point of "Mother" interceding which often was the most uncomfortable result and the children learned to avoid that outcome irrespective of their conflict with each other. While most kids referred to their mother as momma, ma, or mommy, the Priester clan stood out in referring to their mother as "Mother" which they eventually shortened to "mú." Apparently this reference was deemed the appropriate term to be used by Alex's dad (Lamills) who had schooled Nik and Tisha on this even before Alex was born. And they were the "Priester clan" because separation had already occurred, divorce was imminent, and Jackie had reverted back to using her maiden name (Priester) and Tisha and Nik were already carrying the Priester name. Thus Alex was the only Garrett in the house which was usually fine except those moments where it wasn't fine and those moments were fairly volatile and painful.
Living in the Bishop was easy. Setting a course for the children of the Bishop to aspire for career and personal success and financial independence beyond sports and entertainment was a complex and arduous task that very few accomplished. This wasn't necessarily the exact goal of Jackie but as with most parents, she was committed to doing the best that she knew how with the hope that her children would have a life better than hers. Doing this alone would be ominous and fortunately for Jackie she was the oldest of ten children and could rely on several of her siblings to pitch in along with the Garrett family and the Hook family (paternal family of Tisha and Nik) to provide support and occasionally be available. Although it seemed that there was a large support system readily available to provide assistance, the reality was that more often than not the Tisha (9-10), Nik (8-9), and Alex (4-5) were left to their own devices at an early age while Jackie worked in the housekeeping department of the Carolina Inn along with part-time jobs. Jackie's can-do spirit was prominent and she was determined to do well for her family and did not consider the usual limitations associated with- her education level (stopped school in tenth grade), her financial status (on government assistance), her marital status (divorced single mother), or her age (younger than 30) to be a deterrent in her doing her best.
Throughout the Bishop, the Priester clan was known for the discipline extended via Jackie as well as being the best at whatever they pursued. Whether it be drawing, dancing, break-dancing, fighting, wrestling, racing, sports, playing games, or virtually any other form of competition, Tisha, Nik, and Alex were going to be in the lead. In the same, it was well understood that if they were in the wrong or bringing disrespect to the family that there would be a hefty penalty to pay when they faced their mom. Aside from anyone's beliefs corporal punishment or abuse, usually it was the thought of what their mother would do that compelled them to make wise choices than what any other form of authority would do and frequently served as the prevailing thought that protected them from severe problems at school, with the legal system, and in dealing with other adults.
If there was ever a defining portrait of "spoiled" it would be a picture of Little Alex with Grandma Lila and he never quite came to terms with why that had to end. Accompanying that he then sought for the same relationship with his mother and found the acceptance, time, and willingness by Jackie or anyone else to be not very approving. LaMills willfully admits that he was or was damn-near a little brat. The complications of this and an absent dad were difficult and unfortunately this is a situation felt all too often by far too many kids in our world. What's probably worse is that the adults place the responsibility on the child to figure it out and deal with it- seems un-childlike. Aside from this Alex struggled to come to terms with the lessons, challenges, and responsibilities of being strong and independent within the world his family lived. Despite his reservations, Tisha and Nik were ready, willing, and able to give him the necessary tutelage whether he liked it or not. This would include teased and provoked, tussles and fights, name-calling, emotional triggering, competitions, and anything else that provided mettle to walk out of the house with supreme confidence to face anything the streets might be ready to throw.
Despite all of the value and ability to survive that arose from those early lessons, LaMills spent years overcoming some of the images and messages that came along with. The most blatant was his place in the family. In the Bishop, a near-weekly ritual by someone bigger than you was to grasp at anything (true or false) about you or your family and publicly make mockery in your presence with the hopes that you would retaliate verbally and allowing the conflict to escalate to a physical fight. Alex was hook-bait-sinker all too often and compiled a noteworthy list of beatdowns from a variety of people. Whether it was to teach him better or to join in the fun, Tisha and Nik were skilled at getting Alex to display common behavior inside the house as well.
The teasing from them often focused on his dad, such as being a pimp, fights with mom, being in jail, never calling or making contact, a "Garrett" not a "Priester" and the most damning was that Alex would grow up to be just like his daddy. LaMills admits that he was far from a saint and likely the instigator on more than a fair share of the occasions; however the rage that ensued when that teasing began was extremely intense and frequently required significant amounts of force to restrain or forced separation. These episodes eventually led to the label of "Crazy Alex." For perspective, all Priesters were subject to teasing and Jackie's younger brothers (mainly William "Bill" and Danny) were the ringleaders ensuring that no one was ever omitted. There was "Bat, Nattiebug, Pooped-lip Pappy, Yellow, Nick-of-Earl, Bo-wee" and a host of other nicknames given to family members. Alex was called "Puppy" with a huge emphasis on the first "p." Nothing was off-limits and everyone was fair game. It was a family thing with the Priesters and Alex was every bit of a Priester regardless of the surname on his birth certificate. So though the teasing by Tisha and Nik was hurtful and resulted in an image of his dad and himself he struggled with most of his life, it was coming from two pre-teen kids looking to help their little brother to be ready for the big bad world out there and to help him make some shifts in his approach in dealing with the bullying nature of the community before he got himself killed.
Thankfully he was able to survive the Bishop physically while avoiding prison, poverty, illiteracy, or being engaged in criminal behavior. Though not a seemingly high achievement, it is significant accomplishment considering the norms of yourng boys growing up in the Bishop. Despite the successes, he would spend much of his life struggling to overcome ordeals and burdens that he brought into his life by not coming to terms with life and experiences and the Bishop and thereafter.
Inside the home, Tisha, Nik, and Alex carried on with the regular bickering of children amongst each other that eventually escalated to the point of uncomfortable resolution or to the point of "Mother" interceding which often was the most uncomfortable result and the children learned to avoid that outcome irrespective of their conflict with each other. While most kids referred to their mother as momma, ma, or mommy, the Priester clan stood out in referring to their mother as "Mother" which they eventually shortened to "mú." Apparently this reference was deemed the appropriate term to be used by Alex's dad (Lamills) who had schooled Nik and Tisha on this even before Alex was born. And they were the "Priester clan" because separation had already occurred, divorce was imminent, and Jackie had reverted back to using her maiden name (Priester) and Tisha and Nik were already carrying the Priester name. Thus Alex was the only Garrett in the house which was usually fine except those moments where it wasn't fine and those moments were fairly volatile and painful.
Living in the Bishop was easy. Setting a course for the children of the Bishop to aspire for career and personal success and financial independence beyond sports and entertainment was a complex and arduous task that very few accomplished. This wasn't necessarily the exact goal of Jackie but as with most parents, she was committed to doing the best that she knew how with the hope that her children would have a life better than hers. Doing this alone would be ominous and fortunately for Jackie she was the oldest of ten children and could rely on several of her siblings to pitch in along with the Garrett family and the Hook family (paternal family of Tisha and Nik) to provide support and occasionally be available. Although it seemed that there was a large support system readily available to provide assistance, the reality was that more often than not the Tisha (9-10), Nik (8-9), and Alex (4-5) were left to their own devices at an early age while Jackie worked in the housekeeping department of the Carolina Inn along with part-time jobs. Jackie's can-do spirit was prominent and she was determined to do well for her family and did not consider the usual limitations associated with- her education level (stopped school in tenth grade), her financial status (on government assistance), her marital status (divorced single mother), or her age (younger than 30) to be a deterrent in her doing her best.
Throughout the Bishop, the Priester clan was known for the discipline extended via Jackie as well as being the best at whatever they pursued. Whether it be drawing, dancing, break-dancing, fighting, wrestling, racing, sports, playing games, or virtually any other form of competition, Tisha, Nik, and Alex were going to be in the lead. In the same, it was well understood that if they were in the wrong or bringing disrespect to the family that there would be a hefty penalty to pay when they faced their mom. Aside from anyone's beliefs corporal punishment or abuse, usually it was the thought of what their mother would do that compelled them to make wise choices than what any other form of authority would do and frequently served as the prevailing thought that protected them from severe problems at school, with the legal system, and in dealing with other adults.
If there was ever a defining portrait of "spoiled" it would be a picture of Little Alex with Grandma Lila and he never quite came to terms with why that had to end. Accompanying that he then sought for the same relationship with his mother and found the acceptance, time, and willingness by Jackie or anyone else to be not very approving. LaMills willfully admits that he was or was damn-near a little brat. The complications of this and an absent dad were difficult and unfortunately this is a situation felt all too often by far too many kids in our world. What's probably worse is that the adults place the responsibility on the child to figure it out and deal with it- seems un-childlike. Aside from this Alex struggled to come to terms with the lessons, challenges, and responsibilities of being strong and independent within the world his family lived. Despite his reservations, Tisha and Nik were ready, willing, and able to give him the necessary tutelage whether he liked it or not. This would include teased and provoked, tussles and fights, name-calling, emotional triggering, competitions, and anything else that provided mettle to walk out of the house with supreme confidence to face anything the streets might be ready to throw.
Despite all of the value and ability to survive that arose from those early lessons, LaMills spent years overcoming some of the images and messages that came along with. The most blatant was his place in the family. In the Bishop, a near-weekly ritual by someone bigger than you was to grasp at anything (true or false) about you or your family and publicly make mockery in your presence with the hopes that you would retaliate verbally and allowing the conflict to escalate to a physical fight. Alex was hook-bait-sinker all too often and compiled a noteworthy list of beatdowns from a variety of people. Whether it was to teach him better or to join in the fun, Tisha and Nik were skilled at getting Alex to display common behavior inside the house as well.
The teasing from them often focused on his dad, such as being a pimp, fights with mom, being in jail, never calling or making contact, a "Garrett" not a "Priester" and the most damning was that Alex would grow up to be just like his daddy. LaMills admits that he was far from a saint and likely the instigator on more than a fair share of the occasions; however the rage that ensued when that teasing began was extremely intense and frequently required significant amounts of force to restrain or forced separation. These episodes eventually led to the label of "Crazy Alex." For perspective, all Priesters were subject to teasing and Jackie's younger brothers (mainly William "Bill" and Danny) were the ringleaders ensuring that no one was ever omitted. There was "Bat, Nattiebug, Pooped-lip Pappy, Yellow, Nick-of-Earl, Bo-wee" and a host of other nicknames given to family members. Alex was called "Puppy" with a huge emphasis on the first "p." Nothing was off-limits and everyone was fair game. It was a family thing with the Priesters and Alex was every bit of a Priester regardless of the surname on his birth certificate. So though the teasing by Tisha and Nik was hurtful and resulted in an image of his dad and himself he struggled with most of his life, it was coming from two pre-teen kids looking to help their little brother to be ready for the big bad world out there and to help him make some shifts in his approach in dealing with the bullying nature of the community before he got himself killed.
Thankfully he was able to survive the Bishop physically while avoiding prison, poverty, illiteracy, or being engaged in criminal behavior. Though not a seemingly high achievement, it is significant accomplishment considering the norms of yourng boys growing up in the Bishop. Despite the successes, he would spend much of his life struggling to overcome ordeals and burdens that he brought into his life by not coming to terms with life and experiences and the Bishop and thereafter.